Inaccessible Love, Accessible Blood
He entered a small room that resembled a rich, miniature library, and sat in a comfortable leather chair. His therapist sat in front of him. He was a tan, dark-haired, insecure individual with no shortage of problems. She was a voluptuous latina with auburn hair that fell on her shoulders. He spilled is guts and she listened. He took her in directions because she didn’t ask questions. The hours of isolation he experienced led him to speak of tortures and needs, but he acted in a way so that she might reach out and touch him. He spoke of his talents and his love for classical music, and he spoke of his habit of playing pool and smoking cigarettes. He spoke of these things trying to entice her empathy, her curiosity. When he exhausted these, he spent the rest of the session dragging her through the dungeons of his mind, the cold, clammy spaces where skeletons lurked without life. She’d heard worse. She’d known worse, she’d seen worse, but she knew his mind was problematic; infantile. She pictured him sucking his thumb, but he pictured himself sucking her nipples. He told her of his inexplicable desires, and she saw the range of crib emotions unevolved from childhood. She resisted the urge to crawl up to his beautiful body, and he told her of the nights upon the grassy hillside under the moon. He explained the torturous pain he experienced when he lost his first love, and she thought of the men she once devoured. He spoke of the knives and poisons he used on himself as experiments in suicide, and she remarked upon their lack of success. When he told her how his mother left him on the streets, she resisted the subconscious suggestion he offered to curl his arm into her waistline. He told her he was rejected by a woman he’d fallen for, and she thought of her husband, and the night of their honeymoon passed by her mind. She asked him how he felt about his life at the moment, and he glanced to the letter opener that sat on her dark, polished oak desk, its illuminating brass reflecting the slightest hint of an edge.
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