Archive for July, 2010

My Passion, My Desire

Posted in poetry with tags on July 30, 2010 by Shadow

pic by wrydology

Deep into the thick of the night
Within my each heartbeat lies
The vivid memory of every time
You, the only love I’ve ever known
Your delicate fingertips
Grazed the edge of my skin

Each unread page of a book
That sits gathering dust
Heralds the endless thoughts
Of the long warm hours
I spent with you

Do I shake and tremble
Do I shiver on a summer night
Am I lost to a helpless vision
Does an eerie calm reflect
The truth, I’m lying to myself

And the moon burns white light
Into the paralyzing midnight gloss
Reflecting the icy austeriy
From the quickening depths
Of my piercing blue eyes
As I stare out the window
Wondering on the life that follows
If love is a certainty

Should destiny be kind and fate listens
If eternity for once could surrender
To elude the clouds of infinity
The hope ascending from my deepest wish
Will fullfil the runaway madness I feel

When you complete the tender empty spaces
Where my passions and my desires
Rise like embers from the flame of a lucid dream

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Sins

Posted in poetry on July 27, 2010 by Shadow

Like darts flying through the air
These sins pelt my body, sprouting blood
Leaving me spotted with the punctures
Of all of my failed desires

Or like the droplets of a storm
My sins fill the seas till I am stranded
And all around the spoils of my lurid passions
Surround me in swells of forlorn waves

Thoughts of a distant age will not yield
Like corrosion eating away at my heart
Where the last of my innocent dreams
Deteriorate, detaching the last clinging strands

If once red be thy sins, as scarlet
As white as the white rose I become
Yet in the space of time that waits for none
My unforgiven white reveals,
The fading dull grey
Of yesterday’s pain

Regret

Posted in poetry on July 23, 2010 by Shadow

Is there any point to counting
The number of sins I have committed?

Like bricks, I can stack them to the sky
And sideways, I cannot reach the ends

I light the candles to ponder on
What I could have done differently

But the pain remains the same
Each time I look into the mirror

I feel inside the vitality of another day
But the mirror doesn’t lie about the past

In my eyes I see the look that stares
Someone I see that’s different, that’s me

And I carry the load, bending my back
Perpetually forced to carry the weight

Searching for someone to hear me, to listen,
To understand the tale of my thriving regret

Exile

Posted in poetry with tags , on July 22, 2010 by Shadow

I can never forget
Being exiled
It was such a lonely feeling
The world was just
Different all of the sudden
I met people I couldn’t know
I kissed people I didn’t want to
Skepticism ruled me
I did things robotically
And I kept your picture
On my nightstand
Until I realized that
I would never see you again

My Party

Posted in poetry on July 18, 2010 by Shadow

Everyone is invited, a festivity it will be
There will be cake, there will be wine
And for all my corpse to see

You’re all my guest, I’ve covered the costs
When you arrive, I’ll be alive
When you leave, I will have died

Please bring some friends, and live it up
Music will play, people will stay
For I am the show that’s to be

I’ll shake hands, and smile a lot
Be certain not, to forget anyone
I’m leaving this place for the next

No one should cry, I have my own will
It’s what I want, my final desire
Those who know me, they will comply

The party will be, happy and joyous
An end to the pain, new life to regain
My still body will provide all the proof

If in the night, suddenly awake
Upright in your bed, a recollection
I was happy to visit your dreams

Our hearty laughs, once under a tree
Or maybe we were, with all our friends
Your smile is what produced mine

Into the void my
Cherished lost memory
I can’t bear the loss
I’ve hidden it, no one can see
Getting back what is gone
Can simply not happen
I’m having a party
To celebrate my victory
Over pain, and undying
Misery

Hollow Places

Posted in poetry, prose with tags , , , , , on July 10, 2010 by Shadow

Heart

I left. I loved her, and helplessness tore at me. I felt the weight of destiny and fate creeping into my thoughts by the murmuring wind grazing my face beneath the round sun. And I was walking home, grinding my thoughts for explanations when I noticed something in the leaves scattered beneath the bushes by the sidewalk. Something had caught my eye. I was the curious type when walking alone…“take my thoughts away,” I asked. I crouched over to look, and as I focused my eyes, I noticed red liquid spotting the dirt and leaves a little further inward.

I let my eyes wander about the redness, the splattered pattern that told me I might be looking at blood. Had I seen animals mangled and mushy in the road before? Yes, so I wasn’t quite shocked; that is, until I spotted the round lump that carried all of the characteristics of a human heart. The arteries had been severed and the glossiness told of the recency by which this life-pumping organ had been crudely extracted. My eyes fixated upon the object and my own heart began to pump rapidly. My stomach grew queasy and I straightened my back aghast, and I turned to look around to see if anyone had been watching. All was barren along that stretch of industrial warehouse wasteland, though I did notice, much to my sudden concern, an individual far off by a building, an individual who was looking in my direction.

I began to quietly move along, but I was too late. I glanced back to see what had evolved, and I quickened my pace when I saw that the figure had begun to follow me.

The Figure

I sensed the danger and I walked faster, yet the figure copied my movement. Now my heart was pulsating with nervousness, and I took an alleyway to try and throw off the direction of my pursuer. Sunlight shot at strange angles, and intervals of black shade contrasted the views of white with black, the hot temperature dank with discomfort. Dark shaded spots were cooler, and within it a nook where the buildings began to condense, I hid, praying I would not be discovered. I could feel my breath, and I did my best to conceal the noise, to try and relax.

And then I saw it, the figure that stalked me, edging through the visual plane, invading my point of view from around the corner. It walked slowly, and I say “it,” because it was no human like I had ever seen. The eyes were large black holes beneath a wide-brimmed hat, and two large nostrils sat enmeshed in a pall of what could have been rotting flesh, for parts could have been dripping while others were fixed with bruised, blue and burgundy tatters of raw flesh. No lips could I see, and instead the craggy teeth brown with disgust occupied the vacant space where such lips could have been, if such a creature could have even known lips. My eyes shut by the piercing look of two, laser red eyeballs. It’s jaw moved oddly about, the bones making a crunching sound, and it’s head faced me dead on. I was discovered.

Heartless

The figure stood mechanically, its mouth dripping with ooze as it stared at me, and I grew painfully nervous…I thought my fluids were about to burst in my pants. Our eyes fell into a gaze as though it were hypnotizing me, and yet in my peripheral thoughts, I sensed something dramatic about the fact I was not being attacked. The coat it wore was disheveled and dirty, and was not buttoned up so that I was able to see the rotted flesh emanating from underneath.

As though the being could read my thoughts, it began to move in towards me. The red eyes. Those diamond red eyes began to hurt mine, piercing into my soul, and my stomach grew queasy with the inability to move, and yet I was shaking so violently that I wanted to run, but I could not. I was frozen with fear. It came close enough that the foul odor emitting made me want to vomit. Then I saw the bloodied and gaping hole where a heart was supposed to be, and I realized this was where the bloodied heart I discovered in the bushes had once belonged. A heart torn, severed from the nurturing womb leaving behind a loveless corpse to haunt the souls of those who never find love.

Long Needle

Posted in poetry, prose with tags , on July 4, 2010 by Shadow

Polished chrome and frightfully sharp at the point, a long needle fit firmly in the grasp of a demon.

Circling its foul dripping tounge, the eyes fixated with ferocity that could have killed its prey by looks alone.

The needle, used from the other side of the dimension, penetrated the psyche to infiltrate the boundaries of God where innocent thought lie unsuspecting.

With drool that fell and giggles that sent shivers through the ugliest, the intent lurking was never anything but the sincere and purified purpose of devouring the human condition.

Once inside, the demon would poke and jab and tear then inject the brainwash psychologies, demolishing all that was good.

Satisfied, a barrel of laughter would ensue as the inflicted would wander off into the world, helpless, and not understanding of the pain and woes and depressions he suffers.